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Courageous Survivors

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Supporting survivors!

May 2023

Founder’s Message

Every 68 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted and every 9 minutes one of those victims is a child. Only 25 out of every 1000 rapists will end up in prison.

Meanwhile, survivors are challenged daily with the many effects of the trauma. The long list of effects from sexual trauma include Depression, PTSD, Flashbacks, Addiction, Dissociation, Sleep Disorders, Suicidal Thoughts, and much more. 

HOWEVER, there is hope and there is healing. There is so much we can do to support survivors. Please read the article below and learn how to be there for someone who wants to talk about what happened, the first step on the road to recovery. 

Thank you for being here and for caring.

Click here to submit your suggestions and ideas for this newsletter.
 

Celebrate Courage!

I was extremely disappointed at not being able to attend our Celebrate Courage! event. I want to thank everyone who pitched in at the last moment and helped to make it a huge success despite the glitches. It was definitely a forced opportunity for me to practice letting go! I appreciate everyone’s concern about my health, and am happy to be back and recovered.

I was honored to be interviewed by Peoria Times prior to the event and extremely grateful to be featured on their front page. Supporting survivors is our mission and we welcome any chance to raise awareness of what that support looks like.

Cathy Studer and Mollie Flaherty were our guest speakers and I am told that the event was very inspirational, and a lot of fun. This will be an annual event and allow us all to continue celebrating the courage of survivors. We welcome any suggestions or feedback that would help next year’s event be even better. Feel free to contact me directly at janet@courageoussurvivors.org
 

Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.

Herman Hesse
 

Compassionate Response To Survivor Disclosure

It takes courage for a survivor of sexual trauma to share their story with anyone. Never underestimate your power to affect the course of a survivor’s healing journey. Here are some toolsβ€”words, actions, and resourcesβ€”that can help you support someone who shares personal experiences with you.

You don’t have to be an expertβ€”you just have to be yourself.  If someone shares their experience with you, you’re probably a person they look to for support, compassion, and guidance. Although you can’t take away what happened to someone, you can be a source of comfort.

Listen

Sometimes you don’t even need words (or at least not a lot of words), to be there for someone. Many people share that being able to tell their story to someone else lessens the weight of isolation, secrecy, and self-blame. Listening is in and of itself an act of love.

Validate

Think about a time when you felt vulnerable or faced a crisis, and think of what helped you the most. Chances are it was not a specific conversation you had, but it was the knowledge and comfort that the person or people you told were there for you, believed in you, were on your side, and were committed to supporting you through a hard time. There are some helpful phrases you can use to show you care.

  • β€œI’m so sorry this happened to you.”

  • β€œI believe you.”

  • β€œThis is not your fault.”

  • β€œYou’re not alone. I’m here for you and I’m glad you told me.”

Often times, a survivor may feel like what happened to them is their fault. We are bombarded with victim-blaming and attitudes in our society, and they can sink in…deeply. But no action excuses a person hurting someone else. Violence and abuse is never the victim’s fault. That responsibility and shame lies with the perpetrator. It can be helpful to communicate that gently and repeatedly.

  • β€œNothing you did or could’ve done differently makes this your fault.”

  • β€œThe responsibility is on the person who hurt you.”

  • β€œNo one ever has the right to hurt you.”

  • β€œI know that it can feel like you did something wrong, but you didn’t.”

Ask what more you can do to help

Violence and abuse is about power and control. It is vital for survivors to regain their sense of personal power. Instead of pushing someone into taking actions for which they are not ready, ask how you can support them.

Know where to point someone to for more help

You can best help a survivor by offering options and leaving space for them to decide where to go from there. You can find links to resoures on our website or by clicking here

Finally, care for yourself

There is a limit to what we are able to take in and process. The stories of someone else’s traumatic event(s) can impact us. It’s important to care for yourself as you support another person. You cannot be your best self in a supportive role if you find yourself too tired to listen with care and compassion or you are overwhelmed with your own emotions in response to another’s trauma. These feelings are valid. Take some time after a conversation to enjoy the outdoors or do a healthy activity that makes you feel good as a way of re-centering yourself.

Much of this article was taken from the Joyful Heart Foundation website.
 

The world gives you so much pain and here you are making gold out of it.

Rupi Kaur

Our purpose is

supporting adult survivors of sexual trauma on their path to happiness

which will enable us to achieve our vision of

empowering every adult survivor of sexual trauma

and to meet our goals of

connecting survivors with others who understand
providing helpful resources
offering effective support groups
 

Save The Date - 28 September 2023

Save the date and plan to join us at our 2nd Annual Fall Gala - plans are already under way!

This year, we will be holding it at the Trilogy Verde River Event Center surrounded by the Tonto National Forest, stunning backdrop of the Mazatzal Mountains and Four Peaks Landmark. The photo above is the actual venue - truly stunning.

More details coming soon!
 

Keeping you up to date

Support Groups

Courageous Connections Online Group for women survivors of sexual trauma meets Wednesdays, 3:00-4:30pm (AZ Time)

The group is led by a therapist and focuses on support, hope and healing. To join or get more details, visit the Support Groups page.
 

A reminder that people experiencing a mental health crisis have a simple way to reach out for help in the U.S. - they can simply call or text the numbers 9-8-8

Modeled after 911, the three-digit 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is designed to be a memorable and quick number that connects people who are suicidal or in any other mental health crisis to a trained mental health professional.
 

New Items added to our on-line shop! Browse the selection and show your support with our Courageous Survivors' merchandise

Visit the Shop

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one waiting for us

Joseph Campbell
 

Close with a smile!

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Courageous Survivors, Inc., PO Box 29012, SCOTTSDALE, AZ, 85255, United States

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